Yoga is an intimate act

The word “yoga” comes from the Sanskrit root yuj, which means “to join” or “to yoke”.

Yoga is the foundation of the most important relationship you will ever have; a lifelong relationship with your self. Intimacy is not just about the physical; it is a deeper connection on a mental, emotional and intuitive level. 

When I hear people who are hesitant to begin a yoga practice, they focus on the physical: “I’m not flexible enough; I’m not strong enough; I need more movement and activity than yoga provides; I can’t sit still.” On the surface, the conscious mind, these are the reasons we use to validate hesitation and in turn they become accepted as truth. Deep down though, these are manifestations of our fear to dive in to the deepest parts of the self. 

With good reason! It is scary as hell to be in tune with our own emotions, the rollercoaster of feelings that our human lives subject us to. You know what is even scarier than that? The fact that when we are not attuned to our inner self, we are subject to be ruled by the whims of those very emotions we don’t want to face.

We all crave peace, joy, love; even if we try to live in austerity without attachments these are basic needs in life. So much that we do in life is an attempt at fulfillment of these basic needs, but without understanding of our selves and of the emotions, thoughts, patterns and stories we live with, we find ourselves still empty after temporary bliss. 

Through yoga we can begin to bring awareness inward so that we develop a relationship with ourselves. In this way, we begin to understand ourselves and our actions will reflect this. When we act from a place of awareness, we can move forward on a path that will bring forth fulfillment.

Yes, yoga is an intimate act. It is beyond the physical, although that is the manifestation we can most easily see, express and share with each other. Yoga truly takes place inside, slowly sparking a change, an inner revolution that then manifests itself in the concious world.

As someone who has begun this jourey of a profound and lifelong relationship with the self, I invite you to do the same. Practice in whichever way suits you best, but give it a try. There’s a reason people say, “Yoga will change your life.”

Go for it; change your life.

Just live with it

In this evening’s yoga class, the instructor said something…something that released a great burden that was laced up tight within me.

Her words, so simple: “Whatever it is you’ve been resisting, whatever it is that you haven’t let go, in your body or your mind or your past, just release it.”

Maybe I’ve heard these words before, maybe not. I don’t know if it was due to the series of heart openers we were working on, if it was the pose we were holding, if it’s due to Mercury in retrograde, if it relates to my state of mind lately or that today was my first day getting back in to real deep asana practice after being sick, or just the way she said these words. Whatever it was, whatever combination could have caused it, today something really released.

Like a silent shout inside my own head, the truth burst forth in my conscious mind; long buried, I’ve tried to run from, hide from, avoid this thought. I felt a dam release, a flood of emotion and a physical letting go of everything that held those feelings back. Naturally, my mind began to ask questions: “How does this change me? What impact will this have on my life? What do I do with this now?” Then a voice deep inside, wiser than the one asking these questions, calmly replied: “Just live with it. JUST LIVE WITH IT.”

I could feel every part of my being, every connection of my soul to the Universe vibrate around me. The chord within me that is connected to so many other chords it’s touched across time and space reverberated at the perfect pitch, found it’s harmonious tune. This is my truth.

Live with it. JUST LIVE WITH IT.

February 16
We are seeking wholeness, not perfection.

LIVING YOUR YOGA: Find a wood floor and spend a minute looking at what could be called its imperfections, such as knots, irregular grain, and discoloration. Remember that these imperfections are what give the floor its beauty and character; they make it real. Allow yourself to grow in wholeness, imperfections and all.

From A Year of Living Your Yoga, Daily Practices To Shape Your Life by Judith Hanson Lasater, Ph.D., P.T.

It isn’t always easy to deal with our own imperfections. Often times we want to fit in to this idea we have of who we should be, or we try to fit situations and the other people in our lives in to the ‘ideal’ that we imagine. 

There is no such thing as ‘perfection’ though, just as the idea of ‘normal’ can’t exist either because it is all subjective to each person’s experiences. We all have our own distinct dreams, and our own ways of seeing ourselves and the world around us, and we cannot impose that upon others just as we do not wish to have their ideas imposed upon us. Individuals among the collective, that’s what we are.

And yet what we all do have in common, what unites us, what makes us human are our flaws, our imperfections. We all experience things in life that teach us about grief, and also about love, that teach us about our limitations, and about our resilience. There is so much capacity within us all, that runs the gamut of emotions and actions, beyond even our own imagination. 

Each day, our imperfections teach us. Each day, we have another opportunity to learn. Each day, we are complete and whole; we only need to recognize that within ourselves and others. 

Starting over, again.

We all have to start over at many points in our lives; we move, we start over; we change jobs, we start over; a new relationship begins, we start over. Often times we tend to think of ‘starting over’ as failure, but really it’s just getting back to the basics and learning to adapt and apply what you already know to a new situation. I am starting to see ‘starting over’ as something truly beautiful, and magical. In that moment, where we begin again, we get to take the lessons from our previous experiences and gain perspective that gives us a new way to see the situation we are being placed in. This is how we grow in life. And this is what I realized today during my yoga practice.

It’s been over a month since my last yoga practice, and it has been several months since I have been able to practice multiple times in a week like I had grown accustomed to. Life changes have been a big part of that, but that’s OK because I knew that yoga was still a part of me since it isn’t only what you practice on the mat but within day to day life itself; the mat would still be waiting for me. And so today, although my body was a tad stiffer than the last time my mat and I met, I got to ‘start over, again’ with yoga. It was interesting to come back and find that moment where muscle memory meets things that you hadn’t realized about certain poses. Yes, the instructor’s breakdown of where my hip/chest/shoulder should be was hugely instrumental in this and that’s why the instructor can make or break a class, especially for beginners; but really it was the fact that I returned to a beginner’s class, humbled and ready to listen again to just how I should approach each pose.

In yoga, and in life, we learn something and become good at it from doing it over and over again, oftentimes thinking that we have now mastered it and no longer need to be reminded of the basics. Starting over helps get us back to those basics, to say ‘look, sure you’re doing this well but you can always do better.’ We can always do better. So starting over, again, is just another part in that process of learning how to do better.

Nothing Compares To You

One of the best lessons that yoga has taught me is to not compare myself; not to others, not to myself and my capacity at any point before that moment in time, and especially not to this image that my mind has projected of who/where/what/how I should be. At each moment in time, we have to accept that we are the best that we can be and that self is fluid and can change based on circumstances. Beating oneself up over not being one thing or another does no good and serves no purpose.

Over the Labor Day weekend my bestie, Bean, took me with her to the annual Girls & Gays weekend that her and a group of friend’s have celebrated for almost a decade now; on this trip, I met some amazing, diverse and dynamic people. One of these women happened to mention that she sometimes felt like she hadn’t accomplished all she had hoped to by the time she was in her early thirties, and yet as I had heard about many of her amazing life experiences from Bean beforehand and was privy to even more during our time together for G&G weekend, I remarked that she had lived such a full, unique and amazing life so far. There really was no reason for her to think any less of herself because life hadn’t come to fruition into this ‘vision’ she had for herself at some point in her life.

When I look back upon my life, I could never have imagined nor predicted the amazing experiences that I have had, and where I would be today. I cannot even fathom what the future holds for me. And I am grateful for that. I have been blessed, and even the hardships have been a formative part of getting me to where I am today. There isn’t one thing I would change, nothing that I would force to be different in my past, nor in what the future may hold for me. Life provides the most amazing opportunities, and I am absolutely open to seeing where the next adventure will take me. It is a path that I cannot, nor do I wish to, plan or predict. I have full faith that where I am going will be exactly where I need to be, at the exact moment and in the precise way that I need to be there.